EPISODE 5:  Work Mask

Hey, everyone, welcome back to UNSTIFLD.

I'm your host, George Nijmeh, and today, we're talking about something we all secretly know but don't admit.

The work mask.

That serious, guarded demeanor we put on the minute we step into the office.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

The one that makes us feel like we've walked straight onto the set of some serious courtroom drama instead of just a regular day at work.

So, why do we do it?

And is it actually holding us back?

Let's get into it.

All right, let's be real.

Most of us have this idea that being overly cautious, buttoned up, and guarded somehow signals professionalism and competence.

Like, as if we leave our personality and all our personal stuff at the door, then boom, instant credibility.

But here's the catch.

This mindset can quickly turn a normal work environment into a tense, almost robotic space, where everyone's got their guard up.

Everyone's got their eyes on the clock and everyone has their heads down.

That is definitely not the recipe for a healthy team environment.

So, why do we do it?

Well, I don't know, but somewhere along the line, we all learned that not showing too much emotion or vulnerability at work was the professional thing to do.

That guarded behavior feels safe.

It keeps us from standing out too much, from taking risks.

But there's a cost to that.

And it's one that a lot of us don't think about until it's way too late in our careers, unfortunately.

Here's the thing.

When everyone's putting on that work mask, you're not getting any real connection.

Instead, you get this culture of what I like to call self-preservation mode.

So people start seeing mistakes, even tiny ones, as threats.

Something that could come back to bite them in the butt.

So instead of saying, hey, here's an idea, or I think we could try something new here.

People just completely hold back.

And seriously, why wouldn't they?

You know, they're totally focused on not being wrong, not on making things right.

This kind of culture shuts down honest communication.

So how, you know, how are we as leaders?

How can we expect people to share their ideas or even admit when they need help if they feel like anything they say could be used against them later?

And as a leader, this should be your total wake up call if you see this playing out.

So, you know, instead of fostering a space where people are open, we end up with this low key fear that keeps everyone walking on eggshells.

Everyone's just focused on surviving the day.

What's even more frustrating is that the work mask doesn't just stifle creativity.

It totally blocks trust.

Any trust, it's just totally handcuffed, too.

When people don't feel free to be themselves, they're not invested.

They're not fully present.

So you're going to lose out on any fresh idea, small insights that can only come out when people feel safe and supported.

So, all right, so how can you as a leader actually spot when your team is wearing their work masks?

So here are some signs that you could look for.

So the first sign, if you notice people sticking only to safe topics, talking only about processes and procedures, rather than sharing new ideas, new thoughts, innovations, new products on the market, you know, it might be because they're holding back, right?

So safe topics, it's always because they're holding back.

Another sign, you ask for feedback and the room goes totally quiet.

Or people only give you those generic surface level comments.

Or maybe you see people just nodding along in meetings, you know, without engaging or challenging anything.

You know, you look around the room and everyone's just kind of looking at you with that smile, and all you can think about is like, oh my God, you know, hopefully these people are paying attention.

You know, these are all clues that your team is more worried about fitting in than actually contributing.

Another big one is when everyone's overly polite or seems reluctant to admit mistakes.

When your team's, you know, acting too careful, almost robotic, it's usually a signal that people don't feel safe to share openly, and that's because they're too worried about their words being held against them.

All right, now, let's look at some real world examples of how this plays out.

So, picture a tech team at a big company.

So, they're working, you know, this group is working on a new app, or a new app feature.

So, everyone on the team is in a meeting, and the lead developer knows there's a small glitch in the code.

But instead of bringing it up, they keep it quiet, thinking it'll make them look bad, or it's not a big deal anyways, or my coworkers are going to get mad because I didn't tell them first.

So, now take that, fast forward to launch day.

And that minor glitch turns into a major bug.

That bug could have been fixed if the lead developer felt safe admitting hey, we've got a little problem here.

Another one is, think about a finance team under a super intense manager who's all about zero errors.

So, when monthly reporting time comes, the team spends hours, double and triple checking every number.

Just absolutely terrified of missing even a tiny detail.

But, because they're so focused on avoiding mistakes, they overlook a key insight in the data that could have actually saved the company money.

So, their fear of being wrong blocks any chance to truly be right.

Okay, so now that we've touched on our own team's work masks, what about the customers?

All right, so I've had my fair share of this.

Dealing with a customer who's clearly wearing their work masks, all serious, guarded, maybe overly formal, it can feel like there's an invisible wall up.

The key to breaking down that wall is to create an atmosphere of trust, one where they feel safe enough to let their guard down and actually start getting real in the conversation.

So, here's how, right?

You start by matching their formality briefly.

That will make them feel understood, like you get them, but gradually lead them with a more relaxed tone.

Ask open-ended, low-stakes questions that'll allow the customer to share something beyond the surface level details, like what's the most exciting part of your work lately?

Or anything surprising you about the project so far?

This gives them permission to express their own personality.

If you start sensing hesitation, share a small, lighthearted story about yourself or your work that relates to their situation.

Maybe a challenge you faced and learned from.

What that does is it humanizes the conversation and signals that you're really not there to judge, but to genuinely and authentically collaborate with them.

You actually want to have a real conversation to get, whether you're on the phone to sell something or to solve a problem, that you just want to have a genuine, authentic conversation.

Finally, reaffirm that your ideas are to help them meet their goals.

So for example, say something like, I have a few ideas I think could really support what you're aiming for, and I'd love your honest thoughts on them.

This approach helps the customer feel seen, respected, and more open to authentic, productive dialogue.

So, what do we do now?

Well, all you leaders, so this one's turned back on us.

It's all about creating a space where people don't feel the need to wear that mask.

Where, you know, they're more focused on contributing than just covering their bases.

So you definitely have to encourage openness.

Again, definitely show a little vulnerability in yourself, and make it clear, just absolutely clear, that it is okay to speak up.

It is totally fine to speak up, even if it's not perfect.

Trust me, you'll not only get a happier team, you'll get a better team.

All right, that's it for today's episode.

So if you're ready to get everyone to drop their work mask, and build a culture of real collaboration, just remember, the real magic happens when people feel free to be who they are.

And it all starts with us as leaders.

So thanks for tuning in, and I'll catch you next time on UNSTIFLD.